Schukar Adventures

dear jace,

i've been working on this letter for an hour now. i've written about how crazy it seems that you are three, the day you were born, how much you mean to me, what a sweet little boy you are, and nothing seems to be sounding "quite" right. i'm not sure what to say. what do you tell your first born little boy who is celebrating his THIRD birthday?

i could tell you that i love you. i hope you know that. i tell you often during the day. or at least i think i do. i know i tell you when i tuck you in at night. unless it's the sixth time i've tucked you in... then it's usually, "stay in your bed, i will see you in the morning, good NIGHT!" maybe i should tell you i love you more often... i do... i do LOVE YOU!

i could tell you about the day you were born. that's a fun story. it's definitely a day i will remember for always. it was a scary day and a happy day... all tied up in one blue bundle of joy.

i could write about what we are doing for your birthday. plans have been kind of up in the air. we are going to celebrate though! i could write about how anytime we talk about your birthday you remind me that you want a big orange bike for your birthday.

(are you ready for a big bike???)

i could tell you how much you've taught me over the past three years. i'm not sure i have enough room to write about that. i pretty much thought i had this "kid" thing figured out. you know, when you have a master's degree in education you think you kinda know kids. HA! wrong. wrong. wrong. oh my... wrong!

i could tell you what a funny little boy you are. how you make me laugh each and every day. how when you run around crazy like on your tiptoes (when you think you're getting away with something) it makes me giggle. how your smile lights up my world.

(yes, this IS what it looks like. i walked into your room and you were sitting on your dresser,

in the buff, singing away. this picture is in the "pull out for high school graduation" file)

i could write about what a fun friend you are. how i love watching you play with other kids (most of the time... there are definitely moments where i want to crawl under a rock and shout, "who's kid is that and why is he SO rude?"). you are a sweetie though... and most of the time a very kind friend!

i could write about all of your loves. that you LOVE tractors, dirt, mud, basketball, your DADDY and your little brother. that you love reading stories before bed, jumping off of anything and everything, playing outside, and sweet snacks. you love hugs and tackles, doing things by yourself and being silly.

i could write about what a crazy big brother you are and how much i love watching you and jaron play. i'm sure there are times when you'd prefer that he didn't take the book you were reading or the toy you were driving BUT for the most part... you adore him and won't let us put him to bed before you give him a hug and a kiss and tell him, "your my BEST brother!". i love it!

i could write about any of those things. they just don't seem to quite say what my heart feels. i could write about all of my desires for you and all of my hopes and dreams and wants for you. i'm just not sure.

i think what i want to tell you is... how thankful i am for you. i am thankful for the person that God has created you to be. i am thankful for the fun days of being your mom and i am thankful for the hard days. i am so incredibly thankful that because i am your mommy, i want to be a better person. i am thankful that God has trusted us with you. i am thankful for the last three years of your life and i am SO looking forward to what God has in store for you.

love you to pieces jacers!

-happy THIRD birthday-